what would you stop apologising for if you trusted you were allowed?
you apologise for things that aren't crimes. for taking up space, for having needs, for being too much or not enough. somewhere you learned that these things required an apology.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →write a list. start with the small things. sorry for being slow, sorry for asking, sorry for existing loudly. then look at the list and circle anything that isn't actually wrong. for each one, try writing a sentence that begins, "i'm allowed to." see how that feels. strange, probably. maybe uncomfortable. that discomfort is worth paying attention to. it tells you where the permission got taken away. you don't have to stop apologising tomorrow. but writing down what you'd stop saying sorry for is a way of seeing what you actually believe about yourself.
- write about the apology you make most often, and trace it back to where you first learned it.
- describe one thing you apologised for this week that, on reflection, didn't need an apology.
- write about what it would feel like in your body to stop saying sorry for something specific.
this is for anyone whose first instinct is to apologise. especially if you've been doing it so long you don't notice it as a choice anymore.