what are you pretending not to want?
sometimes the wanting doesn't go away. you just get better at acting like it did, at rearranging your face when it comes up.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →find somewhere quiet. write at the top of the page: what am i pretending not to want. then let yourself answer without editing. it might be something big, like a relationship or a different life. it might be something small, like praise, or rest. notice if you feel the urge to explain why you don't really want it. that urge is worth paying attention to. write down the reason you learned to hide the wanting. was it rejection, embarrassment, something else. try finishing this sentence: if i admitted i wanted this, i would have to face that.
- write about a time someone asked what you wanted and you gave a smaller answer than the real one.
- think about the wants you've rebranded as things you've outgrown.
- notice which want you immediately dismissed while reading this, and start there.
this one is for people who have become very good at seeming like they need nothing. the ones who shrank their desires down until they could pass as indifference.