who do you perform "okay" for the hardest?
performing okay is work. and there's usually one person, maybe two, for whom the performance is most exhausting. you know who they are.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →write their name. just that, first. then write what "okay" looks like when you're around them. what do you do with your face, your voice, your energy? be specific. do you laugh more, deflect more, change the subject? then write what you're actually feeling underneath. put the two versions next to each other. notice how much effort goes into the gap. now ask yourself, what do you think would happen if you stopped? write that fear down. it doesn't have to be rational. sometimes the fear of being seen is older than the relationship itself.
- write about the specific gestures or phrases you use to seem fine around this person.
- think about whether you're protecting them or protecting yourself, and be honest about which.
- ask yourself what you imagine they'd do if they saw the unperformed version of you.
this is for people who are tired of smiling through it. especially those who perform hardest for the people they love most.