what are you still doing for the approval of someone who left?
some habits outlive the person who planted them. you might still be earning something from someone who is no longer watching.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →think about the things you do on autopilot, the standards you hold, the performances you maintain. write a few of them down. now ask yourself, honestly, who first made you feel like those things were the price of being acceptable. if that person has left, through choice or distance or death, write about what it feels like to still be paying. consider which of those habits are yours now and which are just inherited debts. you don't have to stop doing any of them tonight. just write next to each one whether it belongs to you or to them.
- pick one specific behaviour and trace it back to the moment someone's approval made it feel necessary.
- write a sentence to that person explaining what you're still doing, and notice how it sounds.
- consider what you might do differently if their opinion genuinely could not reach you anymore.
for anyone still living by rules written by someone who left. for the person whose best efforts are aimed at an empty chair.