what did you say yes to today that you wanted to say no to?
every unwanted yes has a reason behind it. sometimes it is kindness. sometimes it is fear. sometimes you have simply forgotten that no is something you are allowed to say.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →write down the yes. be specific: what were you asked, who asked you, and what did you actually say? then write the no you wanted to say, in the exact words you would have used if you could have. notice the gap between the two. now write about what you were afraid would happen if you had said no. would someone be hurt, annoyed, disappointed? would you feel guilty? write about whether the cost of saying yes was smaller or larger than the cost of saying no. be honest about which one you are still paying.
- write about the specific moment you felt your no turn into a yes, and what happened in your body.
- think about whose approval you were buying with that yes, and whether it was worth the price.
- consider how often this pattern shows up in your week and what it is slowly costing you.
this is for people who keep the peace at their own expense. for anyone who notices, always after the fact, that they gave themselves away again.