what would you tell them at the funeral you can’t say now?
there are words you carry for someone that only feel sayable in a room where they can't respond. that tells you something about the relationship, and something about the words.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →pick the person. you already know who it is. now imagine you're standing in front of a room full of people who loved them, and you have a few minutes. write what you'd say. don't edit it. let it be messy, let it be contradictory. you might find love and anger in the same sentence. that's fine. once you've written the eulogy version, write underneath it why you can't say these things now. what are you afraid of. what would happen. sometimes the funeral version is the truest version, and that's worth sitting with.
- write the three sentences you'd want them to have heard, spoken directly to them.
- think about what stops you: is it pride, protection, or something else you haven't named yet.
- consider whether the unsayable thing is love, hurt, or both tangled together.
this is for anyone who rehearses conversations they'll never have. especially if the person is still reachable and that makes it harder, not easier.