what would you ask for if you knew it wouldn’t be held against you?
there are things you need that you have learned to never say out loud. not because they are unreasonable, but because somewhere along the way, needing became something you had to justify.
every day there's one live question, the same for everyone. answer it anonymously, see what other people said. it's all gone in seven days.
answer today's question →write the question at the top of a page, then answer it quickly, without filtering. don't explain why you want the thing. just write the ask itself. if you notice yourself adding qualifications, like "i know it's a lot, but" or "it's not that serious," cross those out. leave only the raw request. then look at what you wrote and ask yourself: who taught you this was too much? write that down too. you are not building a case. you are just letting the want exist on paper without a defence around it.
- think about a specific relationship where you hold back what you need, and write the exact sentence you would say if it carried no cost.
- write about the last time you almost asked for something and talked yourself out of it, and what you told yourself instead.
- consider what you needed as a child that you learned to stop requesting, and whether you still need it now.
this one is for people who have become very good at not needing things. the ones who always say "it's fine" before anyone has to feel uncomfortable.